5:30 PM 12.18.2011 Honolulu Hawaii
The last 24 hours have been nice, lovely even. The sounds of home are comforting, and the voices and closeness of those I call family is a respite from all that has been frenetic and stressful these last four months. The familiar sound of birds cooing, with the breeze, and the languid feeling that comes with it forces me to take a deep breath and reminds me to be thankful.
So here I am, a little over a year later, since the last time I was here, with her. I waited years to bring her home with me, and she knew exactly what I wanted to see and do and share with her. It was the perfect compliment, and one totally underappreciated. I wish I had paid attention more. Ive been dreaming vividly since Ive been here, of her, and of my life and how to grow it the way that I want.
When I see her in my dreams sometimes it is the big conversation we have yet to have, about the goodbye, and all the apologies and gratitudes I have yet to share with her. Sometimes she has forgiven me, and it is a relief, and upon waking it is something I know I have yet to earn.
Ive been asked to move home again, and this time by more than my family, and I feel like the timing could be right, if I reflect enough and choose the path that makes the most sense. So like many reflections I have left here in the past, I am hoping this one, will be less bitter than sweet, and that a year from now, it makes more sense than ever before.
grrlchef13
Recent Comments